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User:bloodnok (1159158)
The Ivory Tower
The drawbridge is: NAILED SHUT
Name:Ryszard
Website:My purty li'l' webshite
Location:Glasgow, The Village, United Kingdom
Bio:The Diary of A Soldier of Apathy

Your gentle author was born in The Congo sometime during the last century. While an infant, he was involved in a freak aeroplane accident, jettisoned out of the toilet and deposited in the jungle where a family of sloths took pity upon him, bringing him up as one of their own. In time he came to command the respect and fear of the beasts of the jungle, who would cower in terror at his supreme apathy and war-cry: "AIEEE-AIEEE-AIIII... can't be arsed, really..."

Years later, discovered by a British scientific expedition, he was taken to England to study his strange, feral ways, and to see if he could be civilised: whether nature would win over nurture.

Although given every advantage and opportunity, all was squandered on a life of sex, drugs, and rock and roll... drugs and rock and roll... OK, mainly beer, rock, and dodgy 80's metal. Although he did briefly spend time variously as a scholar, musician, bicycle repairman, and, perhaps most infamously, freelance gynaecologist, and also found time to pen the text A Pictorial History of Gargling and the musical Saddam!, he was last seen stumbling around the gutters of Glasgow, wondering where it had all gone wrong and pining for slothdom back in the jungle.



The aim of life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but to skid in sideways, glass of Zinfandel in one hand, wedge of chocolate cake in the other, body thoroughly used up and worn out, screaming "WOO-HOO!!". You can't take it with you, dude.



More evidence of attempts to break myself can be found here.




Actually, the drawbridge crashed down with a resounding thud a while back, but I'm buggered if I can find where to change that bit o' text. Answers on the back of a fiver to...
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